Awkward is the New Normal

My name is Crystal and some may label me "socially awkward":
-I get anxiety when I have to talk to someone, like if i am supposed to make a phone call, it takes so much energy to work up the nerve to dial the number.
-I don't talk much but I can write the heck out of a text/email. 
-I don't say much but I'm one heck of a listener!👂👂👂
-I talk to myself when no one's around
-I am passionate about people speaking logically.
-I hate being told what to do, especially if you haven't given me a chance to show you that I already know how to do it. Please excuse my attitude and eye-rolling, I just like autonomy
-I love being around people  but I hate it at the same time
-I have more patience with kids than with adults. 
-If you're my friend, i hate when other people are around you when i'm around you. I be like Yo, that's MY friend. MINE! who are you? 👀
-I converse more naturally with males
-I used to have a lot of people that I talked to on a regular basi…

Don't Shoot the Message!

I was listening to someone famous, who I really enjoy listening to. It's cool how much they talk about God. It's all the time, like All Thee Time...but they curse a whole lot and other stuff too. At first I was like, that's conflicting, but someone else replied and said something like, "but everyone's process isn't always fast, like they might just be beginning, and they know they believe, but everything didn't change all at once". And I was like, True! That was a really good point, and it helped me once again on my everlasting journey to loving solely like Jesus and being less prejudice against people who aren't "churched" like me.

But this post isn't really about that. It's more about the fact that even if, by chance, this famous person was being "conflicting", was it really wrong for him to talk about God? I mean, isn't that what we want; for people all over the world, all kinds of lifestyles to hear about who Je…

6 Ways to Tackle Confidence as an Introvert

By Crystal Handy
Have you ever felt like you didn't belong? No matter the credentials you've obtained, nothing prepared you for the social skills you would need to feel like your functioning well in this fast-paced world. Does it seem like everyone around you has figured it out and they're moving full-force in their purpose, but you're stuck still trying to figure it out? Well, here's something that I've come up with to help myself. Maybe it will be a start to helping you as well. 

1. Don't Compare Yourself to Anyone:  Not even to yourself - Your old self is not you NOW. What you used to do may not be what you can do now. It's okay. Focus on who you are presently. You don't need that extra stress of figuring out if you're as good as your younger self, or as good as anyone else. Listen, other people have what they have; they are who they are; their background is their background. But what you have to offer is needed and nobody else can bring it lik…

Dying to Live

I was watching some movie on Netflix one day and I heard a quote that hit me enough that I had to pause the movie and write this blog entry. Let me set the scene up for you:

 So this guy is going through some things with his marriage, his job, just life in general. Everything he's doing to try to cope isn't working, in fact it seems to keep getting worse and he doesn't want to bear it any longer. Next he's drunk and walking to a bridge with the expectation to jump. Then a car stops and an older man tells him about how he was in the exact same spot 1 year ago. spoke these words to a man after talking him out of jumping off a bridge in the same spot that the elder man stood in 1 year ago with the same intentions. He told his story and then stated... 
"The energy you put into dying, you put that into living."
WOW! I thought about what this meant. It really does take energy to take your life; to decide how it's going to happen, to move past the fear, past worri…

What About Yo Friieeeeeeeeeennnndddss!!

3,216-I see their pictures. I know what they’re eating, how they're feeling, what they're thinking, who/what they like and don't like, if they have kids; a family; are they in a relationship. I can see it all – I know them! Or do I really?
3216...this is the number of Facebook friends I have. I know so much about all different kinds of people, but I look sometimes and think "I don't know you!" When I compare the number of friends and followers I have on social media with the people I have deep relationships with, the gap is pretty significant. Don’t get me wrong. Social networks are awesome because you get to keep up with all different kinds of people’s lives. But do you ever feel like, even with all the people that follow you on social media, you can still count the number of true friends you have on one hand?

You name it...I used it back in the day! I loved connecting and feeling close to all kinds of people. Now, I realize how overwhelming it can be for my …


It's the 31st day of the year and also the 123rd day that I have been 31 years. I often find myself thinking about how I will be 40 soon and I do NOT want to look back and see that I haven’t made any growth. I’m sure you feel the same way; that you want to take advantage of opportunities to improve your quality of life and you want to make sure you are enjoying a purposeful life and not just making it through. So I'm sure you’ve taken the first step; you’ve written your goals/resolutions. BOOM! Then you realize that change doesn’t happen overnight…you actually have to do some work to prepare for the change. It would be awesome if you could just wish change and it happens without having to make adjustments to your habits. Sometimes complacency comes knocking on your door saying
You don’t have to do anything right now. It’ll happen!
Then years have gone past before you realize NOTHING CHANGED...
That’s how I feel when I think about my goals sometimes, and I put off walking up …

Hey Blackie

Hey Blackie! Here's your victory
Does desegregation make you happy?
Finally a change has come. But it's gonna come with a price.
We gon make sure you Blackies think twice.
You can come here
Well, because we have to let you.
But Our teachers don't have to teach You
The buses don't have to bus You,
You can pay for a taxi or You can walk your Black legs.
And your nappy Black-hair covered nappy Black head
Will see just how good my aim is with these apples so red

Blood shed 
We'll be waiting for you
Every single day
To antagonize you, taunt you, 
Tease, laugh, and haunt you.
You'll get hit on, you'll get spit on
Listen, We don't want you here
But they said we had to let you in.
I see you with your strong arms carrying those torn books
I see your straight face as if you are ignoring our ignorance
I see your perseverance to get your education.
I see your resilience to go through 
Your secret meetings you hold, we should call you hiders
Learning how…